Today, I saw a midget. Then I realized that she was just on her knees. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, a man clapped at me. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, I blogged. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, I chewed on ketchup packets. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, Sheen was the pickle king. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, I told a stranger to be my hamburger. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, Forest called someone an encyclopedia. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, there was no Mama Yeye. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, I tried to tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue. I failed. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, I burped a burp of epic proportions. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, I cried for two hours.

Today, my mom was a gun. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, I tried to find how many Frenchmen a humpback whale equals. And then I cried for two hours.

Norf, I norfed about norf norfing norf. And norf I norfed for norf norfs.

Today, that guy's wart was huge. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, there was spilt milk. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, Jesus was totally one-cheeking it. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, I talke about dancing to a bunch of girls. And then I cried for two hours.

Today, my mom called me bro. And then I cried for two hours